Squeaky’s Blog

I remember the book from growing up and I have to say that even over the years I still hate it.  It’s another one of those things that gives me the creeps.  I think it’s got to be because of Halloween right around the corner all the dark and gloomy things are coming out and I keep remembering a new thing from my childhood I hate.  I don’t know what it is about the book that I dislike and a part of me thinks I should go back and read it.  I just don’t see that happening though.  I honestly am wondering if it’s just the pictures because that’s what I always see.  I was talking to DP about this the other night and he thinks I am kind of crazy.  I can’t blame him though.  I told him that if he wanted to take WC to see it to go ahead and take him but I wouldn’t be going.  I hate that book so much that I told DP I don’t want the book or the movie in the house!  I am going to tell the family that I would appreciate it if no one bought it for him since he will not be allowed to watch it when I am home.  How sad is that?  It’s like the Nutcrackers, or the Dark Crystal to me.  They are both movies I hate.  I can’t stand Nutcrackers so much that I refuse to own any!  I don’t even like to look at them on display anywhere.  My mom says that when I was really little maybe 4 or 5 that I was forced to watch the Nutcracker and have hated it ever since.  I can understand that, since the part I remember even now is where the mice were running around all evil like terrorizing people.  That’s all I see when I think of that movie or see a Nutcracker.  So, it’s weird because I love Christmas so much but at the same time I know that there will be Nutcrackers out their terrorizing me.  As for the Dark Crystal I am not sure what happened.  I remember watching the movie a lot as a child even though it scared me at times, I would watch it again.  I think there was even a point when I loved the movie.  Somewhere though I became to hate it.  I think one thing it shares with the other two is the dark characters.  I am not sure though because I love the movie The Labyrinth.  It’s a little dark too but I love David Bowie.  I mean who doesn’t love that man!  That must be why I am okay with that movie after all dark and scary things are always better when it’s someone you have a childhood crush on right!?

There is this commercial that comes on down here and I swear it freaks me out!  Well there are a few of them.  This one is for Blue Man Group.  I had never heard of them until we moved here.  I guess they are some big attraction at Disney or Universal.  They are men dressed all in black with blue paint all over their face/skin everything that’s not in black is blue.  It’s the freakiest thing I have ever seen.  I know some people are afraid of clowns and for me I have never been bothered by them.  This group of guys though!  Wow they are strange and maybe the show they perform is cool but you won’t catch me watching.  I can’t stand the commercial so much that I have to turn away.  I wonder am I the only one?  I mean they are some big thing down here.  I don’t get it.  Someone explain this craziness to me please.

 WC turned 5 this month.  I keep remembering all the little things we did over the years.  He has grown so much over the last 2.  I keep thinking that we just moved from Germany to Oklahoma.  When he turned 2 we spent the day together eating breakfast at Denny’s and then the local park that he loved.  I remember how small he was and people just loved him. I remember how on the way out of Denny’s I gave him a dollar bill and he put it in the broken game machine.  I felt bad for him because he was upset he didn’t get to play but at the same time I was happy since I had almost given him a larger bill.  I keep thinking of all those moments and wondering where all the time went.  I keep telling myself I need to write it all down because I am afraid one day I will forget or won’t be here to tell him the stories.  I want to continue to have those special moments and watch him grow.  Then I wish he would stay small forever.  I know that won’t happen.  He has started school (Pre K) and now I have to buy his clothes in the boy section.  I knew I would one day but I just wasn’t ready for it.  I guess I may never really be ready for all the milestones as they come.  But hey it’s like the saying goes one step/day at a time.

I decided to try to go back to work.  I keep hearing people talk about how hard it is to get a job and I have had 3 offers since we moved here in February.  The first was supposed to be a trainer position for a life insurance company but you had to start as a sales person first.  So, yeah that wasn’t going to happen.  The second one was to be a manager on duty for a local movie store.  They wanted to pay minimum wage and give 20 hours a week.  So once again that wasn’t going to happen.  Then I called a few Vet Clinics and what do you know I had a job.  I started on Tuesday morning.  It was just a receptionist position so this was something I could do in my sleep.  I have worked for the Army for years in Vet Clinic’s after all.  I am a quiet person at times but for the most part I like to talk and am usually the goofy one.  I make faces, skip in the halls, and do crazy silly things because I hang out with the kids all day and I think it’s just embedded in me.  But this was my first day and I was tired from being in the ER with Giggles all night.  So, knowing all the things that normally piss off the doctors I stayed up front and did the busy work.  You know the work that takes time but you never want to do.  I filed all the files from the morning clients and pulled the next days and got them in order as to how they were coming in.  I had been answering phones, and learning the computer system.  That was the funny part because at first the office manager told me she was going to wait to teach me but hey it’s slowing down and there wasn’t anything else for me to do so I started checking people out.  I had been sitting back taking note of everything, how the clinic ran and seeing where they needed a little work.  I noticed that the only time they talked was when it was to bitch about a client.  I noticed how they were somewhat rude to clients without being completely obvious.  I saw how they yelled across the counter to the clients instead of completely checking them.  There were a lot of little things that they could have done to make the clinic more efficient and run smother but it was my first day so I kept my mouth shut.  I figured in time I would bring up ideas but today was not the time.  Well lunch time came around and everyone went to lunch and I sat outside and ate and walked around the farm looking at the horses.  Then after lunch was over they started getting clients in again slowly so there wasn’t much to do and one of the receptionists asked me to come with her.  I followed her to the back and said cool you have something for me to do.  That was when she told me it wasn’t going to work out.  I looked at her and said what?  I am being fired?  Why?  I thought maybe I had pissed of a client or one of the doctors and waiting for the answer trying not to cry I was told the doctor said I was too quiet.  Too quiet!  It’s my first day it’s only been 4 hours.  What did she expect me to come in and be loud and obnoxious?  I know I was told they tried to tell her but apparently the doctor had made up her mind.  I was told sorry and that if she the doctor didn’t want me there than I didn’t want to be there either.  She would make my life hell they said.  I was upset and confused and then was told they would write me a check for my time.  What I don’t even want the money I told the receptionist.  I called DP all upset and told him what happened and he came to get me.  He had a hundred reasons of why and that it was BS and wanted to go in and yell at them.  He said no one gets fired on their first day.  Well I just did and it only took me 4 hours.  He tried to make me feel better and I love him for that and then he took me to his office where our friend who had the boys and my car was going to meet me.  Yeah I didn’t have a car I had decided that since the job was a two week trial that I would have a friend keep the boys, my car and take WC to school and just pick me up when I got off.  This way if it didn’t work out I could keep him in the same school and wouldn’t have to put either one of the boys through so much change for nothing.  I am glad I did it that way because WC doesn’t like change and this was going to give him time to get used to everything.  But in the end I didn’t have to change a thing.  I am contemplating looking again.  I really do like staying home and the freedom of not having a job but I would love the extra money.  I have called a few Vets in town and they all want me to come in and drop off a resume and fill out an application for when they do have an opening but I am not sure I want to.  I know the saying when the horse bucks you off get right back on.  I know that I should just suck it up and keep on trying but in the end I am not completely sure that working is what I want to do.  I want to go back to school and get my degree.  I want to work but I also love my time with the boys and I am just not sure I am ready to give that up.  Who knows only time will tell.  I just hope I can make it past 4 hours on the next one.           

I had to take Giggles to the ER the other night.  We had a long day of running errands and when we got home I decided to clean out the car.  The kids were playing in the drive way and being good.  Then Giggles climbed in the car and over to the driver seat.  WC then decided that he was going to get in the driver seat with him.  That was about the point I got mad and told them both to get out of the car and WC went out the door and shut it behind him.  Well, its monkey see monkey do with Giggles.  So, Giggles pulled on the door handle and pushed a little and then started to fall so he let go and the door closed.  I got a few extra grey hairs at that point but the door was closed and figured he was just going to walk to the back and get out like he got in.  Oh no he was going to be a big boy like WC and go out the door.  This time though he knew he was going to have to push on it so he grabbed the handle and pushed it open and went head first out the door.  I freaked watching it all happen and not being able to grab his feet and ran around to the car to get him.  He was screaming, his head was all bruised already and he had road rash just above his eye.  I grabbed the keys because I hadn’t even unlocked the door yet.  I tried to call DP at work but Giggles was screaming so I just asked to send DP home and hung up.  I then called DP’s cell and told WC to tell Papa that Giggles was hurt and to come home while I grabbed an ice pack and headed to the EMT neighbors house.  Trying to calm down Giggles had finally stopped crying and I called DP back to tell him we were headed to the ER.  Which one, I had no idea since I didn’t even know where the damn hospital was it was just going to be the closest one to the house that came up in the GPS.  DP met us at the ER and I was telling them again for the umpteenth time that NO the car was not moving when he fell out of it.  The keys weren’t even in the ignition.  Then we got the biggest shock of Bull Shit ever.  Tri Care wasn’t going to cover the visit to the ER that we were going to have to make a claim through our car insurance company.  If they then denied the claim tri care at that point would pick up the bill.  What are you kidding me?  If we had been stationed with a military base I would have gone to the base ER and would never had an issue with the insurance.   But no we are remote (Army term for no base at the duty station) so we don‘t have the luxury of going to a military base.  I am sick of military families complaining about the base hospital and yes I was one of them.  But let me tell you know that I don’t have one now and I miss it and see how great it really is to have.  We had great doctors and I have great doctors now but they are an hour from the house.  I choose to go to them because of how much I like them.  I have to pay for my prescriptions now and over the counter meds that I used to just get from the base pharmacy I have to buy in a local store.  It’s a lot of little things that we take for granted and my eyes have been opened to a whole new world.  My kids are always playing and doing crazy things and people keep telling me that they are going to end up in the ER.  Well you know they just might but we have tri care so we are covered I tell them.  It’s true I think I let them be a little rougher and tougher than they should be because I know that if anything happens they are covered.  I guess I might start rethinking that after this cause god only knows the next time it’s going to be oh no tri care won’t cover this because you were in the house you are going to have to call your home owners insurance policy.  Ha probably not but why chance it right?     

I must say I am going to miss my sandy backyard and playing with the boys in it.  We don’t have a lot of neighbors and have been spoiled with the big yard.  I don’t think I knew how relaxing and fun it could be outside flying a kite for the kids until we did it.  We did have a few hiccups, like WC lost control of the kite.  It actually went pretty far before getting caught on something and DP managed to untangle it for us.  Then we lost another one on the roof, which came down the next day.  All in all though, it has been really nice playing at our private little beach.  I must say I won’t miss the mess it brings and the constant baby powder and showers required to remove the sand or the constant dumping sand out of shoes.  We will though begin a new journey with a covered & screened in back porch where they can play even in the rain.  We will have an Orange tree and a Tangerine tree that we can pull the fruit off.  I am looking forward to that since I love Tangerine’s and so does Giggles.  We will have less room and a few other trees but we will be able to walk to the lake.  I think we will be having little picnics and fishing at the lake a lot.  WC wants a Rocket fishing pole so much and my mother bought him one.  The only catch is he has to learn to write his name.  He is getting there little by little and is writing some numbers on his own.  I think it’s only a matter of time and he will be out there shooting the rocket fishing pole into the water and I just pray this time we don’t lose it in the lake like before.  It would make for a long walk home.  The stories we could tell though may be worth it in the end.  After all if we don’t have a few hiccups along the way are we really enjoying life? 

We are moving at the end of the month yet again.  We get the keys to the house and have a U-Haul all set up to rent on Saturday.  The only problem is we haven’t packed a thing.  DP is going tomorrow to get the paper work for the Army to move us but we don’t know if there will be time for them to get us in.  We finally found out that the Army is stepping in and helping with people who are renting and the owners are being foreclosed but the woman who does it was out last week.  The thing that may kill us is we have to be moved out by the first and since we are so far a way we just don’t know.  Tomorrow will be the day we find out if it’s going to be an easy move or a pain.  If we have to do it then I will be visiting Wal-Mart to get boxes and I guess spend the week packing everything I can.  I am hoping it won’t be too hard since we are just going across town.  I am also hoping that after this we can actually just settle in and things calm down.  We will also have new renters in our house in Oklahoma and we were able to up the rent a little too.   I am keeping my fingers crossed the Army will be able to get us in.

There is a young girl that went missing not long after we moved here and her name was Haleigh Cummings.  She has been missing for 3 months now and they still have no signs of her.  She has stopped being reported on the news.   The news reported on her for only about a month.  I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose a child.  I feel for her parents and family.  My heart goes out to all people that have lost a child.  The thing that I don’t understand though is why we spend so much time listening to the news talking about Casey Anthony.  The news reports on her every time they air.  They call it the “Case against Casey.”  I understand that it’s an ongoing case but isn’t Haleigh’s case still ongoing.  I know they found Casey Anthony’s daughter and unfortunately it was too late to save her.  But when did we become so obsessed with a woman who may or may not have killed her own child when there are still missing kids out there.  Why is one child’s story more interesting or important than the other?  Why do we stop reporting on any missing child?  I think the news needs to stop talking so much about one woman whose daughter won’t be brought home safe and spend that time on the still missing children than maybe we could bring a few of those home.  It’s so bad now that the lawyers are talking about how Casey Anthony won’t get a fair trial because she is so well known.  I really think that sometimes the news stations don’t stop and think about the consequences of what they air.  I have heard them air stories here of a man in witness protection that just was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  I stopped dead in my tracks that day and thought I did not just hear that.  While it may be interesting didn’t anyone think of the consequences of what they just said?  If that was the case then it wouldn’t be too hard to track the man down now.  Which I would think that the man would need to be relocated now and who pays for it the government that’s already poor.  There have been many times I couldn’t believe what I heard from the news.  There have been times that they aired things about soldiers and deaths where the family hasn’t been notified first.  There have been times where they aired things about first responders and if the families had been watching the panic that would have come from it just doesn’t seem worth it.  I just don’t understand how some things make it on the news and why the news seems to have no common sense on some subjects.  I think that someone needs to step in and say as interesting as it maybe that some things should just be left unsaid and the world might be a better place.

After a long and horrible few months things are finally starting to look up.  I have been so preoccupied by everything that I haven’t wanted to do anything.  The house is a mess and so today cleaning is on the agenda.  I don’t even know where to start, so I will start at the beginning.  When we moved here in February, we asked the realtor about every house we looked at, if it was possible it would be foreclosed and finally after two weeks of searching we picked a house.  It was a roller coaster of emotions.  We were all crammed into a hotel the 4 of us, the dog, 2 cats and my brother in law for a bit.  Then when we moved in and had our things were delivered and it was starting to look good.  We love the yard which is a big sand dune.  The house is nice, it works and I like it.  I wouldn’t buy it but it’s a really nice rental.  After about a week in the house Giggles started getting sick and then WC too.  They had 4 trips to the doctors in 2 weeks and both made a middle of the night trip to the ER.  At the end of the month they were finally getting better.  Then thinking March will be a good month, things started to go wrong again.  The people that were renting our house in Oklahoma started complaining about everything.  It was sad and stressful thinking that a screw was loose and they wouldn’t pick up a screw driver to tighten it.  They thought that we should pay a repair man to come out since it wasn’t their house.  They didn’t understand that it is their responsibility to maintain the house.  Then I get a letter that says Giggles doctor’s appointment wasn’t covered by Tri Care.  So, still being the beginning of March I called Tri Care and the doctor’s office every week at least to try to correct the problem.  Then we are in April and I am still trying to fix the Tri Care issue and start to work on the house in Oklahoma, it needed a new fence.  I had gotten an estimate before we left and had the measurements, and knew what I wanted done.  The rental company didn’t want to pay any money up front so they called around and got estimates.  Then when they had them I asked does it included the walk through gate, the drive through gate, and the 116ft of fencing that was forgotten the first time around.  Just as I thought they didn’t have the gate’s added in the price and so I asked again if they had the 116ft of fencing added in.  I was assured that was the correct price.  That was about 3 phone calls in one morning and a few hours later when I am sitting in the post office with the cashier’s check getting ready to seal the envelope that my cell phone rings and it’s the rental company.  They are telling me that they forgot the 116ft of fencing and that the company putting it up is going to give me metal posts for the price of wood because of all the confusion, but they still need just under $1100 more.  I wanting to scream through the phone to them just said okay and back to the bank I went.  Once it had all been mailed I called the realtor back to let them know the money was coming and the amount of the checks.  That’s when I wanted to lose it for a second time that day.  The realtor then told me that I had sent too much and they would send back $500.  I once again just said okay and let it go.  I figured when they realized they were wrong they would call or I would get the money back.   My poor husband though got to listen to me vent a few times, but the fence was going to go up.  It was going to be a few days though since the rain had been so bad the ground had to dry up a little.  The middle of April was upon us and I was still fighting with the doctor’s office and Tri Care, the fence was up at the Oklahoma house and things were going to start looking up.  I was changing doctors office’s because it was one thing I could control that was easy to fix.  That’s about the time the realtor called me to let me know the renters were breaking the contract and moving out.  I was pissed because the market is so bad we can’t sell it and even get what we bought it for.  Then I just paid over 3 thousand for a new fence that could have been put to a mortgage payment if no one was in the house.  I spent a week on the phone with everyone I could think of really.  I called lawyers, realtors, the bank and loan officers (trying to find out about refinancing or selling) and it was just the worst week, at least that’s what we thought.  Then it was Monday morning the following week and a little after 8am there was a knock on the door.  I was shocked to be told that the house was going into foreclosure and that we were going to have to move.   I spent another week on the phone with every one again trying to figure out what my options were and was told I didn’t have any.  Then at the end of the month I went to pay the rent that was pointless since the owner wasn’t paying his mortgage and that’s when things started to go right. They were going to let me out of my contract and let me move.  Though for some crazy reason the owner of the house had my security deposit so I was never going to see that again.  So, I get to stay here for a month basically for free and we are house hunting again.  I think I spent a week looking at houses and had finally narrowed it down to 4 houses all having fences this time.  My realtor from Oklahoma called me with good news to let me know that my house had rented and for the higher price.  Things should have been looking up for us but that night I actually lost it.  I thought I was going to pass out when the room started spinning and I could barely get to the bathroom since I was about to throw up.  Somehow I made it there and DP got me water and a few minutes later I was better.  Scared out of my mind but better and the next morning we were going to see houses so I just went to bed.  When we got up I still felt funny and had decided to look at the houses since it was our only chance and I would go to the doctors later.  We finally made it to the realtor’s office to go look at the 4 houses and found out they forgot to ask if we could take our pets.  The news was bad only one house was then an option.  We drove out there and it just wasn’t a real option there was no fence like said and it was small.  Our last resort was to check out 2 other houses one having no fence, a small yard, but in a great area.  The other house was small but had a fence and apparently backed up to an alley and a back entrance to some stores.  That house was then not an option either.  We decided to take the house in the nice area with no fence.  We signed yesterday and will start to at the end of the month.  I am hoping this will be a new start for us a chance for things to actually go right.  We will be 15 minutes from DP’s office instead of 40 and we can walk to a few different lakes in the neighborhood.  We won’t have a sandy back yard but we get fruit trees and a screened in porch.  I go back to the doctors on Friday and get test results back.  Hopefully it really will be stress related and by writing this I will have relieved some of that stress I have been carrying around.  Though, moving will bring on a whole new stress but they are things I can somewhat control.  I am looking forward to a new start with no worries.  I get to meet the owners of the new house next weekend and hopefully everything will work out for a change.  We have new doctors that I like, even if it is a little bit of a drive it’s not a hard drive and all worth it.  It’s a lot like the clinic we had in Germany before we left.  I like that small town feel where you have everything in one location.  I am hoping to be able to get this move over and done within a week since that’s all the time we have to do it in.  DP is going to talk to the Army since the DOD is starting to help out soldiers that are being forced to move because of the rental house being foreclosed.  If we are lucky they will move us or pay for us to do it.  So, once again I will start calling on Monday for answers and hopefully they will be good ones.  In the mean time I guess I have cleaning and packing to do all while trying to limit my stress level.  The joys of life sometimes they really do make us stronger.