Squeaky's Blog

Soccer Mom

Squeaky — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 02:03:35 +0000

I am joining the rest of the mini van and soccer mom’s. WC starts soccer in 2 weeks and I can’t wait. We have already gotten his cleats, shin guards and a ball for him. He practices every chance he gets now since its still cold out. We have him wear his cleats so he can break them in and get used to them. I can’t wait for his first practice and game.

Netflix

Squeaky — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 02:01:57 +0000

We recently ordered Netflix and I already have a love hate relationship with it. I love it don’t get me wrong it is awesome to just pull up a movie on the computer and watch it on my TV. The part I hate is that WC is also in love with it and thinks he should watch a Netflix movie all day. If he doesn’t get one he starts the whole spoiled whine about how he isn’t happy. This is where I usually send him to his room to play or outside. I have to say it is really nice when I am sick and just need to veg out while Giggles is napping. The downfall is that WC is going to turn into a couch potato if I let him. So, I can’t wait for it to warm up and we can go back to being outside all day.

Not Happy

Squeaky — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 01:59:33 +0000

“I’m not happy!” This is what WC always says to me when he doesn’t get his way. Today though this is how I feel. I have been waiting 2 months to go to this concert and I can’t go! DP is taking college classes again so Saturdays are when he catches up and does all his work. This means I have the kids and we normally try to stay out of his hair for the day. It was going to be a great day. We were going to go to the park where the concert was and just enjoy life and the music. Well life had a different plan for us. We woke up to rain and gloom. Then to top it off its cold outside and if we go to the outdoor concert all of us will get sick. Thus we decided to go to the store and get out of DP’s hair for a bit and hope it would warm up and the rain would stop. Yeah that didn’t happen. It seems to have gotten colder and is still rainy. That’s not the kicker though. The worst part is that when we were in the store something has set off some of my allergies. I normally don’t have allergies, not even the seasonal kind but today something is driving me crazy. I have one eye all itchy and watery that feels all kinds of swollen and I can’t stop sneezing. I just want to scream and say “what the hell?” Why today of all days. I mean it’s like there is someone higher force that is keeping me from going by stopping me in my tracks. I took some Benadryl though and hopefully it will kick in and I will feel better just in time to make dinner. Oh but how I already said I wasn’t cooking tonight and we were ordering out! I don’t care what we eat but I am so not cooking tonight. I am on strike because “I am not happy!”

The Sad Truth

Squeaky — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 19:26:23 +0000

I have spent the last year almost trying to get to know the wives of my husband’s coworkers. They all say they want an FRG (Family Readiness Group) and to be friends. The truth is they want it and things to do but not one of them wants to do the work to have one. Hell they won’t even show up for a get together. I attended the last FRG meeting (virtual conference) for the Brigade and had planned for the wives to come to the office and do a potluck. It was later than normal hours but the guys had to work anyway. I figured we could all eat then the meeting would end and we could all go home and not worry about dinner. Well no one showed up and I said something about being at the office and it got everyone in trouble. It was a known fact that the guys worked late on those days of the week. Then last month I actually was able to attend the monthly FRG meeting (teleconference) for our company. What do you know, no one showed but me and the lady conducting it. So she asked what we needed at our station and I told her communication. We have a huge lack of it and are out of the loop. That is where it went wrong again. The woman that conducted the meeting told the brigade and the company got an earful. So, then when it went to DP and he got bitched at because of what I said and then they complained to him about me. There was a conference that was over the weekend and I was going to attend the Army was paying everything but it was short notice like less than 3 days to get everything in order. Well in the end DP had to work and we didn’t have anyone to watch the kids so I cancelled. Then the ATC (Annual Training Conference) came around and I didn’t go. The Army once again was supposed to pay for everything but at the last minute the company started to explain that we would have to pay for this and that. The only thing the Army was really covering was the room. The child care which was people I didn’t know was now going to cost per child and I didn’t want to find a dress and worry about the other expenses of going to a ball. So I stayed home. Well they through that in his face too. This he told me today after I sent an email to confirm I would attend the quarterly Brigade meeting. DP also told me that he explained that we would no longer participate in the FRG since I and the First Sergeants wife (who hasn’t contacted any of us since before June of last year) were the only people that actually wanted it and were willing to work for one. The thing that kills me the most is that these women are supposed to be my friends. We are military wives and we are supposed to stick together. Everywhere else we have been we have all been close and looked out for each other because that’s what you do as an Army wife. I thought that being here remote (away from a base) would be like Germany away from family so the guys in the office and wives all became family. I was so wrong. I love central Florida and yet I find I hate it here too. I hate the wives who always tell me I am a good friend but yet never contact me and are no where near being a real friend. They are fair-weather friends. I know they will never call, text, or email me asking how I am unless they want something. I know for a fact that one of them is about to leave and she is a friend of connivance to another wife and when she is gone the other wife will start to call again. She will want to do things together but the truth is that WC hates her oldest son. So, I need to remember this when the time comes and find my back bone and tell her no we aren’t interested. I have had my fill of friends that don’t talk to you after you move and I don’t need anymore. It only makes it harder on me and the kids. I don’t want to have to explain why another person won’t talk to us anymore when we move to WC. I have done that enough. I think it’s going to be a long 2 years until we leave. I have nothing nice to say about the last year and I have no friends here to talk to no one to confide in but DP. I almost wish I was one of the wives that could just run away home to my family and stay for the last 2 years. Then when DP would get orders somewhere else I could just meet up with him their. But this is real life and it doesn’t work that way. Instead I will have to find a way to make friends outside of the Army life and pray things get better because right now it fucking sucks being a recruiters’ wife.

Presents

Squeaky — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 07:01:02 +0000

I have been talking to a few friends about what they got their kids and how they do Christmas. I am surprised to find out that they only buy a few presents like no more than 3 or 6 per child. So, then I think about what I got the boys and just wonder. I know I am cheap and I never spend a lot on anything. I think the most I spent was on WC’s scooter which was $30 but everything else was $10 or less. I think 3 things for Giggles was just over $10. So, does not spending a lot make it easier to get more or just make me spoil them? I know a bunch of crap came from the dollar store but that was the silly things that they want. I keep thinking about what I got and where I got it from and wonder how they ended up with so much. I think maybe because I spent it in different places at different times. I know my mom helped a lot! We have a five below store back home and she picked up a bunch of stuff and sent it to me. Those were probably some of the nicer gifts too. I mean I got WC a Spiderman game for his Gameboy that he is getting for $5. The Gameboy cost me nothing though since I found it in the garage a few months ago. It was DP’s I think but we don’t use it and why not it will be great for the car and the house time he will be limited though! Then Giggles I found a few toys at Ikea (well my mom-and sent them to me), a few at Target (the ones just over $10) and had them mailed with free shipping and then a few from Family Dollar so they really did get a lot but I don’t think I spent that much on them. All the stocking stuffers came from the dollar store or clearance racks for a buck. I am really cheap and though I don’t think their toys reflect that. I know a few things might but they are things that WC asked for and has bugged me about getting like a paddle ball and a jump rope. All that being said I think I spent $100 on each kid and they have almost 20 gifts just gifts not stocking stuffers, which they have a stocking for each of them and then a stocking that is the same (like life savers, playing cards, ugh I forget but it’s the stuff you get both). So, is that too much to spend or a normal dollar amount and if no that’s about what most parents spend then is near 20 gifts too much even if a bunch are little things? They are still small so a lot of the things they get are small but when they get older I am sure it will change. I know I was stressing when I started trying to get the gifts but I looked around and shopped sales and smart I think. I don’t think I ever realized how many gifts they had until I went to wrap them. Now I keep thinking they are going to open all these presents in front of our family and I don’t know what they are going to think. I didn’t put anything on a credit card and I paid all my bills too along the way. So, why do I keep feeling like I have to defend myself for what I got them or explain that I didn’t spend a lot?

The Deliv’s Playground

Squeaky — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 02:49:29 +0000

DP had to go out of town this weekned and WC wanted to do something fun since he couldn’t go. I thought it would be nice to take WC and Giggles to Chuck E Cheese. It always sounds like a good idea when we plan it. Then we get there and it’s another story. The place was packed and the only tables that were empty were reserved. I understand that you can have parties there but wow! I mean the idea was to get pizza and then let the boys play. It took over 30 minutes to find a table and then it was too small so we atleast got a break for a while until a bigger one was available. I guess it could have been worse. But hey we got a table eventually and the kids ate and all should have been happy. However you know life is rarely smooth. The kids did have fun I have to say. Giggles had some moments of fustration. He was so tired and wanted to run around and play but it was just me and a friend who brought her daughter. We had to take turns checking on the kids and sitting at the table with the food. I mean who wants to trust people to not steal your things or spike your drinks? I guess the better thing would have been to feed the boys first and then go. I think the next time we will do that and take in a small backpack for the diapers and wipes. That would make more sense then I can run around after the kids and let them play with less stress and hassel. It was crazy and my friend that came was nice to have but we really didn’t get to talk because we were worried about the kids and too busy constantly chasing after them. I think it’s a reminder of why I don’t really take the boys to the park but have people here and spend so much time in our yard. It’s hard to talk and hang out with friends when you are constantly worried about your kids. I have to say the Play Place (indoor kids playground) is a lot better since it’s smaller and more confined too. It is more of a way to let run off energy then spend money on games. They do have a small game section but it’s more of a playground than anything else. I also think the stress level is so much smaller. The down side is according to my mother we all get sick after going. I know the last we did but we were just starting to get sick and didn’t know it. It was one of the colds that we just passed back and forth for 2 months. We would all take turns for a week being sick then better for a week or two and start over again. So, the last time it wasn’t because of going but I am not ready to put it to the test. Oh well, maybe I will learn from my mistakes and the next trip to The Devil’s Playground will go smooth after all once again we have coins left to use another day.

That’s Lame

Squeaky — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 02:21:23 +0000

The last time I took WC shopping for clothes he told me that everything I picked out was lame. I mean everything. I had to let him pick out the clothes and it was more trouble than it was worth. So, today I found him a few things and on my way to pick him up I remembered the last trip. I had to find a way to keep him from telling me the clothes were lame. I was not taking them back and he was going to be okay with it. Well I remembered our neighbors son. He is a senior in high school and he and his friend actually play with WC. WC thinks they are the coolest thing around and this was my way to not being lame. I came up with this story of how this guy just like them was in the store and I asked him what was cool and what was lame. I told him how he said the ones I bought were cool but the others lame and so I didn’t get him those. I couldn’t make him wear lame clothes! So, I told WC that I hoped he liked them and they really were cool cause the guy said they were. WC was so excited. I was worried still but when we got home he loved all of the clothes so what ever works right? I feel bad still for the tall tale I told. I guess I will have plenty more years of being told I am lame so I should I have to use all the help I can. It’s still amazing the things I will do for my kids.

Facebook: Go or No Go

Squeaky — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 05:27:27 +0000

I have two Facebook accounts and I use them both. I have to say I use the one for my site a lot less but I have it. As for my personal page I use it all the time. I am always logged into it. I love the applications and play a ton of games. I usually go strong on one game then change to a new one and go back and forth. I also like everyone else post comments and keep in touch with family and friends. It’s odd though I am not sure if I am changing or if my friends are changing. So much in our lives has changed over the last year. We have taken a different turn and I sometimes wonder if we will stay on this road or take another detour. I miss the life we had before the Army moved us here and changed DP’s job. He had the dream job he wanted, the job he joined the Army for. But the Army had a new plan for us and we like always went with it. We find a way to look at the positive in all our moves. We really believe that you make each duty station good or bad. There are some things that you can’t change that may be good or bad but if you make yourself happy in your family life it will make the time at the duty station better. So, when we moved here we were totally excited. We were finally closer to family and in Florida and a great location. The job we knew for DP was going to be hard and it has. It takes up so much of his time. Then, comes all the new coworkers and their family members that we have here now with DP’s new job and it seems that some of them live in a different place then us. There is the age gap, lifestyle gap, language issues, maturity level difference, and more. There are wives that want the whole friendship and closeness but only Monday thru Thursday. The weekends are the time when the hubby’s are home and they don’t want to be bothered with co-workers or some lame excuse of how they are worried about what their kids touching things. It seems they all say they want an office with unity and yet they don’t want to work to make it happen. Well, in the middle of this I have continued to use my Facebook account to help keep in touch with friends, family and the new people I have met here. Somewhere over the last month my eyes have become open to civilian life and the stupidity of people. I have noticed how easy and fast people on Facebook take things out of perspective and blow up. It’s stupid little things and shows a real lack of maturity. Why argue in comments back and forth? Why not be the bigger person and just walk away knowing that it’s stupid? I mean we are talking about grown people just calling others names and throwing dirt. I was so pissed tonight that I just deactivated my personal account until I can decide what I want to do with it. I know that I love the applications and yet I can play games online almost anywhere. I know I have posted my opinions and they have pissed people off but then it makes me wonder? Why do I care? It’s my opinion and it can change or stay the same but it’s mine. I have the right to say and feel what ever I want right? So, tell me you don’t agree that’s fine but I am not going to change my mind because your feelings are hurt. I am tired of listening to people bitch and complain because things didn’t work out the way they wanted. Its life it sucks, get over it. I complain from time to time but come on people can’t you just suck it up and move on? Do you have to complain every comment you make? What happened to just posting little happy things, or what’s new in life, and the occasional complaint? I love using Facebook and it’s killing me not to be able to log in and play all my silly little applications that I really don’t have time for but I just don’t know if it’s worth the headache. Who knows maybe in the morning I will have a change of heart and a plan to make it enjoyable again.

Tormented over Balls

Squeaky — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 20:53:31 +0000

It all started on Thursday when I went to pick WC up from pre K. It was so nice out Giggles and I had the windows down in the car. We were almost at WC’s school when Giggles started shouting ball, and pointing out the window. He had thrown his bouncy ball out the window. This was one of the few balls he knew was his and only his. It was the cutest one I had seen in a long time. It was white with the shiny colored confetti mixed in. On our way back home we stopped a few times and I walked down the street looking for it and I think we drove like 5 miles an hour some of the way. Well I gave up and we went home. I went to get him out of his seat and he looked at me and said ball like I was supposed to have it and hand it over to him. My heart broke for him over this silly little ball. I thought to myself wow the things I will do to make my kids happy. So I guess we will make a trip to the fun factory and hopefully get enough tickets to get him another one. Then came Sunday morning and Giggles brought me one of his toys. It was the blow up push toy that rolls back to the baby and helps them to learn to crawl. Well he found it in his room and brought it to me and so I blew it up for him. The whole time I was blowing it up he was smacking it and saying “ball”. Finally, it was done and I gave him the toy and what do you know he screamed at me and shoved it back in my arms. What? Thinking he was unsure I rolled it on the ground and that made him scream even more. Poor Giggles went and got it, brought it back, pointed inside the toy and said “ball”. I finally figured it out he wanted the little balls inside the toy. I tried to explain they wouldn’t come out but he didn’t want to hear it. Frustrated I told him to take it to Papa and off he went whimpering “ball”. DP apparently didn’t do anything for him because two minutes later he came back whining “ball”. Once again, I tried to tell him they don’t come out. Pissed off he grabbed the toy and ran into WC’s room. A few minutes later he came back out with the toy and WC’s play chisel. Then gave me the toy to hold as he tried to stab the seam and I couldn’t help but laugh. Again, I tried to explain to him that that balls didn’t come out and it ended with him storming off into his room screaming and crying and shutting his door behind him. He had to sit in his room crying for a good few minutes when I went to check on him. The poor boy was sitting in the dark in front of his closet with another toy. It was one where you drop the balls in and they come out on the side with extra places to drop from and come out of, and it played some music when the balls hit the bottom. So here is Giggles crying in his room whimpering ball and holding his toy trying to shove some dog toy ball about the size of a tennis ball down the slot that a ping pong ball would fit in. I felt bad and for him so we went to find the balls that went to the toy. We could only find one but he was happy for a while. Then just before dinner time he started all over again and I happened to be on the phone with my mom. Who asked what his problem was and after I told her the story and both the toys actually came from her. She felt so bad listening to him whimper ball that she said it was torturing him and to just pop the thing and give him the balls. Okay I figured she bought and was the one saying pop it so what the hell. I got a steak knife, sliced a big whole and gave Giggles the balls. That child was so happy. He ran into the other room with all three balls to show DP. Then he ran to his room and sat down with his toy and dropped his balls in with the biggest smile on his face. He sat and played with that toy and then when he came out into the living room he brought the toy and the balls. He wasn’t about to let them out of his sight after all he went through to get them. Even this morning when he got up he ran straight for the balls with a big smile on his face.

An Eye for an Eye

Squeaky — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 07:27:36 +0000

We all know the saying “An eye for an eye.” There are times in life where we know something is wrong yet do it anyway. Sometimes with out hesitation and others we ponder over what to do, knowing the consequences could be great. In general though I think most people believe in Karma and try to do what’s right until they are crossed. It’s our instinct to protect ourselves and our children. When someone hurts a child people all over the world feel for the parent and child. We know how much we love our own and the thought of something happening to them tears us up inside and out. We seem to long for that revenge and justice for a child more than we do for our own. It’s widely know that if you hurt a child and are caught, charged and sent to jail that the other inmates will take their turns taking out their anger for the situation on the person. I have no problem with this. I think if you are bold enough to hurt a child then you can suffer the consequences what ever they may be. I think sometimes it’s better to let a man suffer in jail being abused by other inmates then to give them the death penalty. The death penalty to me is like suicide. It’s a way out when you can’t deal with the current situation going on in your life what ever it may be. To me it seems to lack any real punishment. I believe when you are dead that’s it there is no rotting in hell or going to heaven, your just dead. So if someone commits some unbelievable act on a child then I think they should suffer, after all it’s an eye for an eye. What kind of quality of life does a prisoner have really when he is being tortured every chance the other prisoners can. I have my own children and remember what it was like when they were newborns fresh home from the hospital. They were so small and fragile and the love I had for them was and is still immeasurable. I can’t think what I would do if they were hurt then or now. So, when I saw a link on Facebook where a father raped and beat his 8 day old daughter I almost puked! I thought about my friends with baby girls and changing their diapers wondering how in the world a grown man could get his penis in them. The pain that baby had to go through and then to be beaten after. This was not by some stranger or extended family member but her father! Her father! I just can’t understand. I am holding back tears thinking of the pain she went through and the trauma that will stay with her for the rest of her life. If she lives this will be public record or at the very least know by the family. When she gets older and starts asking questions what will her mother be able to say? It’s not going to be something that can be lied about. It’s going to come out. How do you explain this to her? Not only did the poor baby girl live through this but now she will eventually find out the truth and have to come to some sort of terms later in life. She will not only suffer now from the actual abuse but the mental abuse that this will bring later. A part of me thinks that if she lives the mother should pack up with her change the names of them both and cut all ties to the family and start over. Then maybe just maybe they both can put this behind them and pray that it never comes out and have some sort of a normal life. The problem is that the mother is only 15. The father on the other hand was 18 and yes that’s young but there is no excuse for what he did. I have no desire to know why he did it. I am shocked that he lived long enough to be arrested. I think if it had been me I would have killed him. It’s hard enough for me to listen to DP yell at the boys when they need to be yelled at. So, I can’t imagine what kind of rage went through the mother and family. A friend of mine said she would like to hear what the 18year old father had to say and you know I really just don’t care why. He and the mother created that baby girl and he just hurt her more than anyone ever could with his actions. It’s one thing if she had gone through this by some stranger or extended family member but this was her father. This is the man that created her and was supposed to love her and protect her from all the evil things in the world. Yet he just became her worst nightmare. The only thing I can put a positive on is that thank god she is so small she will never remember what happened and have to relive it for the rest of her life. I pray that he goes to jail for life and that the other inmates beat the crap out of him daily and rape him every chance they can. I hope he learns and feels the pain he put his baby girl through. I hope he suffers for a long time. I hope he comes to realize how unspeakable this act was and that one day after he has been forced to suffer over and over takes his own life. After all, his life is now worthless because of his actions. I pray that this baby girl never has to know the pain of what he did. I pray that she makes it and grows up to be a healthy woman with a life filled with love and happiness.

Here is the link to the story:

http://www.myeyewitnessnews.com/news/local/story/Father-Charged-with-Rape-of-8-Day-Old-Baby/gWsjkpvEAUSWeDaSwofKRA.cspx