Squeaky’s Blog

I was doing the dishes today like every day.  My oldest wanted to help like always.  It was the coolest thing.  He grabbed a handful of silverware and started putting them away.  He didn’t just throw them in the draw like he has in the past.  He actually sorted them out correctly.  I was so proud of him.  He even grabbed a knife and said “Mommy, here it’s a black knife it will hurt me.  You put it away.”  How cool is that.  He always wants to help no matter what I am doing.  Normally though he makes more of a mess then it’s worth so I put it off.  He is so funny about things.  He will make an attempt to sweep and mop, but won’t clean his room.  He says “It is way messy.  It’s too big, you do it mommy.”  I always try to tell him if he would just start with putting one thing away and go from there it won’t be so bad.  That never works though.  So, I always end up doing it.  I hate cleaning his room.  It always takes me at least an hour to do it.  The worst part is trying to do it with the baby now.  I am learning everything seems harder with two kids.  I think they run circles around me most of the day.  I love them though and I still want two more.  They are finally starting to play together.  It blows my mind because the baby is only five months, but they are playing together.  Today I was in the kitchen doing something I can’t remember what but I could hear them and the baby jumper was just going.  I thought I was going to have to go discipline the oldest but to my amazement it was the baby.  The oldest was telling him to jump and showing him how by jumping on the couch.  I wasn’t happy about the couch but let it go because they were so cute.  The baby was watching him laughing and jumping right back.  I think that was the best thing about today.   

I have been trying to join all these groups to help get the word out for my site.  They also have all kinds of ideas.  For the first time I have joined any kind of group I have met a lot of nice people and not one snotty person.  That has meant a lot to me, since the people I have been meeting lately all seem to have sticks up their asses.  I have to give a shout out the moms at www.mombloggersclub.com they are one amazing group of women and 1 dad too.  Through them I learned about twitter another site www.twitter.com and gained some new friends.  I was reading some of the twitters/tweets and one mom asked if you had ever read a blog that the blogger sounds like they don’t like their kids.  This has been bugging me all day.  I am one of those persons that over thinks everything and take most things personal no matter how hard I try not to.  I have no idea what she read and got the thought from.  I just hope it wasn’t from anything I wrote (wow do I sound vain).  I know I talk about my kids and all the things they do that drive me crazy a lot.  It’s my way of venting to get everything out and part to any mom that can relate and not feel alone.  I love my kids with every fiber in my body and I like them too.  They are unbelievably cool.  I think almost everyone likes them.  My oldest right now is just in the terrible three’s as my mom calls it.  I think sometimes he knows just the right buttons to push.  I tell him that his behavior is unacceptable and I don’t like it but that I still like and love him.  I want him to know that even if I am mad at his actions that I still love him.  I think he knows that and I try to reinforce that to him all the time.  So, if you ever read anything on here that makes you think I don’t love or like my kids then just comment back to me.  I even asked my husband about it and he thinks that sometimes you can get the frustration from my blog.  That makes me wonder then what other people take from it.  He is a bad person to ask since he knows me.  So, I only hope that I don’t sound like that and that people understand where I am coming from when I talk about my kids.  Now maybe I can get it out of my head because that’s all I have thought about today.

Dinner has become a big pain in the ass for us.  Every night is a new test to see if my oldest is going to eat.  He is on this I have to spit my food out in a napkin because it’s yucky stage.  He says it’s going to make him sick.  I wish I had never said that to him now.  I tell him all the time he can’t have this or that because it will make him sick.  It truly will make him sick because it’s always something dairy that has milk in it.  He is lactose intolerant and will get sick if he has anything with milk in it.  When I say sick I mean sick.  He will vomit (if he has a lot), get gas, get diarrhea, and it will tear his skin on his butt up to the point it will be raw and oozy with blood.  Now that you are grossed out you know why I say it will make him sick.  So, we have this fight every night to get him to eat.  I can make something that I know he loves but he won’t eat it.  There are times where I know he has been stealing food, or had a late snack and that’s ok.  The rest of the time though I want to pull my hair out.  I made chicken the other night and he loves chicken but he didn’t like the kind I was making.  So, in an attempt to get him to eat that night I made one breast just for him with only salt and pepper.  It started out fine.  Then we made the mistake of saying it had salt and pepper on it and he spit it out.  He refused to eat anymore after that.  He is so hard headed and has will power like you wouldn’t believe.  If it’s not what he wants it’s not going to happen.  The kid wants two slices of bread with ketchup on them all the time.  I am to the point now that I am thinking of doing the whole Jessica Seinfeld thing.  She has this cook book that tells you how to puree all the things kids won’t eat and add them in to your dinner without them noticing.  I keep wondering if I do a puree and add it to the ketchup if he will really notice.  Then it wouldn’t be so bad for him.  I don’t know though I am hoping he will just grow out of it and start eating again.  In the mean time I want to scream because he doesn’t care if you take away this or that or make him go to bed.  He will fight the sleep and a few hours later come out wanting food.  When I tell him he can have his dinner or go to bed and wait for breakfast he says he is going to wait.  Now every morning he is starving but I have to argue for a few minutes with him to eat something other than bread and ketchup.  I have told him it’s not good for him and now he argues back “yes mommy, it’s good for me.”  I have noticed that he has been giving in easier in the morning but at lunch and dinner it’s the same thing.  He went to bed hungry tonight and we will go through it all again tomorrow.  I can only hope that this whole charade ends soon.  

My husband got upset the last time he had to change the baby’s diaper.  He told me that the next time the baby poops I get to do it.  Why?  The baby pooped in his hand he said.  Trying not to laugh I asked how even though I already knew.  When the oldest was a baby he pooped in my hand too.  Well, the baby had started pooping and apparently wasn’t done when my husband went to change him.  My husband who didn’t realize this took his diaper off and was wiping him when he started going again and didn’t have the diaper there to catch it.  There was nowhere for it to go so he had to put his hand under the baby’s butt.  Trying not to laugh at him I said “ha-ha, the other one got me so now it was your turn.”  I think it’s only fair.  When the oldest was a baby he was constipated and I had to give him a baby laxative.  The little rabbit like poop came out and I thought it was good to go.  I figured he got out what was blocking him up and now I could just change him.  That was totally wrong.  I had done the same thing taken the diaper off cleaned him up and was reaching for the new diaper when he started going again.  I didn’t have time to open the new diaper or grab any wipes.  There was nothing there to put under him but my hand.  Thus, I got a big and I mean big handful of poop.  I swear that child had to of pooped out a good pound or more.  It was like Niagara Falls of poop.  After that I always told the moms to be that were easily grossed out to just wait.  One day will come and you’re going to get peed on pooped on and thrown up on.  You will do things that you never imagined you could all for the love of your child.  It’s great at times just to be able to gross them out.  I also like telling people all the things that no one else will.  It’s like the dark secrets of being pregnant and parenting.

I made my first trip to the ER with the baby on Sunday.  As far as ER trips go it went really smooth.  We were in and out in an hour.  It was nice to not have to wait in there forever since, I was dreading the trip.  The baby is fine and I am glad.  They told us it was viral and give him Tylenol.  My husband and I knew that was what they were going to say before we even went in.  It’s one of those things.  Baby’s get fevers and sometimes they don’t know why, but it’s always better to be safe than sorry.  We think since he is teething and putting everything in his mouth that he just picked up some germs along the way.  My husband and I were talking about it and it’s one of those things.  Every doctor will tell you that teething doesn’t cause fevers and diarrhea, but there are ten mothers for every one that say it does.  We think it’s not the teething but the fact that he is teething and a response to all the things that go in his mouth.  Things are dirty and they are bound to pick something up that is going to irritate their systems causing them to get the fever and diarrhea sooner or later.  I think the worst part about the whole trip was the baby’s gas.  It started during the vital check.  Then when we were moved to the back it was of those big rooms that are separated by curtains.  We were in the middle and after a few minutes of being in there his gas started again.  It was bad.  It was loud and smelled so fowl.  I was not shocked but embarrassed.  The first time I think I said his name and then the second time I think I said something like wow boy you stink.  All I could think at the time was the people on the sides of us are probably thinking it was me and I was just trying to blame it on the baby.  Once again, it was how does something so small and precious have such long, loud and ungodly smelling farts?  So, when the doctor came in I was already to tell her about how he doesn’t poop regularly and causes him to have gas.  That didn’t happen.  She asked about his bowl movements and I just said “Oh, he doesn’t poop.”  Before I could go into how it causes the gas she interrupted me asking if I had talked to his doctor about this.  That’s where I wanted to say “um, did you hear me say he was breast fed and you should know that is normal for some babies.”  Instead, I just explained to her that it was normal for him.  That he will go every other day or few days and that the doctors won’t intervene until it’s been ten days.  Totally making forget that he had farted earlier and everyone heard it and I wanted to make sure I had said it was really him.  Why though?  I still keep asking myself this.  What do I care if a few people on the other side of a curtain think I farted and tried to blame it on my kid?  I know the truth and these people I can’t even see and will never know who they were.  What did it matter?  I can’t seem to wrap my head around this one.  It was one of the first things that came out when I was telling my husband about the trip.  I guess because at the time I was embarrassed.  I am sure it won’t be the last time.  It’s all part of being a mom.  You have to take the good with the bad and embarrassing moments.  Oh well, it will make for a good laugh when he is dating someone.  After all that’s the fun part, remembering all the things they put us through and then reminding them as they get older.     

My oldest had nap time on the couch today because his sheets were being washed.  Nap time is never fun in our house it’s almost as bad as bed time.  It wasn’t too long today before he fell asleep because Grandma came and took him to the park this morning.  It was a nice break for us.  The baby though was a pain the whole time.  He is still teething and now he is running a fever so, he is really cranky today.  I am hoping the teeth will come in soon and not be like the oldest.  My oldest didn’t get his teeth until he was almost 1.  So, when the baby finally went to sleep it was nice to have them both out at the same time.  Here are some pictures of what we found when we checked on them.  It was so cute I had to share.

Nap Time

Nap Time Another View

The baby is breastfeed and only gets formula when I have to.  He has just started on cereal.  He gets a bottle mixed in and gets to finish whatever is left over.  So, as a result he doesn’t poop regularly.  Thus leads us to his gas.  Oh my god!  He has the worst smelling gas.  It could clear a room in a matter of seconds.  Then he also farts these loud unbelievable sounding farts that you would think came out of a man.  This will go on for a few days until the he actually poops.  Then once he poops he is good for a day.  After that its back to the room clearing smells that you can’t believe came out of something so small and precious.  Today is one of those days that the smell just hits you and you would swear he pooped but then there is nothing.  He pooped yesterday so, we will be holding our breath for a couple of days.  Thankfully we have one of those plug in air fresheners.         

Its official I hate boobs!  They aren’t good for anything but nursing and for some women not even that.  I have to say though; with my first son I had so much milk.  I became engorged.  The only way to describe it was they looked like chocolate chip cookies with a chip in the middle that was melted and barley sticking out.   This time around though, that is not the case.  My son eats every two to three hours and he is 5 months old.  He had doubled his weight by three months so I know he is getting enough.  But anyway, I have been in the past called a member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee.  I sometimes wish they were bigger for different reason mostly to be able to buy shirts and bras that fit right.  My husband though doesn’t care he always says anything more than a mouthful is a waste.  So thanks honey.  My son on the other hand is in love with boobs.  So, after a trip to the commissary today I decided that I hate boobs.  We nearly had a temper tantrum while we were there but made it home with only whining.  He was going on and on about this other lady.  Telling me I wasn’t his friend anymore and we had to go find her.  He said he loved her and wanted to go home with her.  I knew who he was talking about and why but played it off like no big deal.  Then after a few aisles of listening to him I asked who and why.  He told me the lady in the pink shirt.  “I love her” he said.  So, again why does he love her I asked?  “I love her mommy because she has big boobs.  I love boobies.”  WOW!  What do you say to that?  I am sure a few soldiers and families over heard the conversation too.  I know he had a small obsession with them before I had the baby but it just seems to have gotten worse.  Every mom that I have talked to said it was going to be worse because I am nursing the baby and I think may be true.  I also think that Attack of the Show from the G4 network didn’t help either.  We were watching it a few months ago when they did a story on you tube and the most watched videos.  The newest thing was boob slapping.  It was funny ad stupid all at the same time.  We didn’t think anything of it at the time.  Now a few months later and I so, regret having watched it.  My oldest the boob fan, is constantly trying to slap my boobs now too.  Every time I take a shower, try to get dressed, or when his little heart  desires, he starts laughing and says “booby punch” or “booby slap” and goes for it.  So, I am constantly trying to block blows to the boobs.  Now he is in love with other women with big boobs and I am not his friend.  After today I am rethinking taking him anywhere for fear of women with big boobs lurking around the next corner.  Once again, yes I hate boobs!        

My oldest has created a nick name for his private parts.  We have never called it anything but what it is a penis.  When he used to get a bath or diaper change he would run around the house naked and we would say “put some clothes on boy” or “put some clothes on that naked body.”  Then somewhere along the line he started this whole thing where he runs up to you and spreads his legs apart, points to his penis and goes “NAKED!”  It has become a game where he will just take off running to do it as soon as he has the chance.  It’s so funny we always go “eew, that’s gross go get some clothes on boy.”  So, the other day my son fell and came running into the kitchen crying.  When I asked what was wrong he said “I hurt my naked.”  I about died laughing.  I held it in though long enough to tell him I was sorry rub his head, kiss he cheek and send him to my husband to tell him.  I felt bad because he asked me to kiss it.  That’s when I sent him to Papa for sympathy, and as soon as he was out of the room I lost it.  It was so funny I couldn’t hold it back listening to him tell his Papa what happened.  Now we still tell him it’s a penis and he will tell you that boys have penises but he has been calling it “his naked” for about a week now.  It’s so funny because now when he puts his under wear on he asks us which is the front and which is the back.  Now though he says “this side is for my naked?”  I end up saying yes that’s the front for you penis.  I can only hope that he will outgrow it before he starts school next year.  I am not looking forward to the whole conversation of what girls have though.  We have been lucky enough for now to just skirt around the issue.     

My oldest is just like me.  He never shuts up and never forgets anything.  I swear, don’t tell that child you will do something unless you truly intend to do it!  He won’t forget.  He will hound you constantly until you do.  He doesn’t forget anything!  I had to pay some bills today and we went by the mall and he went crazy.  My mother in law took him to the movie theater there last week and that’s all I heard for 5 minutes straight.  “Mommy I want to go there.”  “Mommy, are we going to the movies?” “Mommy…, mommy…, mommy…,” I wanted to scream!  That kid in the movies that constantly says “Are we there yet?” is my son.  Though with him it’s not “Are we there yet?” it’s “Where are we going?” “Did you see that mommy?”  “Look, mommy!” nonstop until we get there.  Then to top it off he is so loud, it’s like ear piercing loud by the end.  I know it’s wrong but I sometimes wish they never put tubes in his ears.  He used to be the quiet kid.  The child that you always told to speak up and had to listen so carefully to what he said.  Now it’s “Lower your voice.” All day every day I have to remind him.  I asked the doctor after he had the tubes put in his ears why he got so loud on us.  The doctor says that she thinks he was always a loud talker but because he could never hear his loud was quiet.  That this maybe his real self and is going to be loud from now on.  So, now I just want to bang my head against things at times.  That makes me feel like a shitty mom though.  I know people joke about how we (parents) spend 2 years teaching them to walk and talk, and then the rest of our lives telling them to sit down and shut up.  But there are times I truly wish he would just lower his voice and knock off the 50 questions.  Now when we go somewhere I pray they don’t have lollypops or stickers because if I ever have to go back it’s going to be “Mommy…”  Sometimes all I have to do is drive by the place and he remembers.  My husband says it’s because he is so smart, which makes me proud.  But damn, I find myself going in different stores, entrances and taking different streets just to avoid a possible temper tantrums or 50 questions, because he remembers everything.  I even have to tell white lies sometimes and be glad he can’t read yet.  Like today, when we were out we saw a carnival and it said on the sign that it started today but I told him it didn’t start until the weekend.  How wrong is that?  I told him that they were setting it up and that it would be ready for the weekend.  I don’t have any problem taking him.  Trying to explain that to a 3 year old is harder sometimes then just saying it’s not ready and we can go later.  We saw that carnival sometime today around noon.  When my husband came home he told him all about it.  That was like 4 or 5 hours later and I can bet he will want to go tomorrow and every day until we go.  Oh well, I will cross that bridge when we get to it, and answer his 50 questions between now and then.