Squeaky’s Blog

When it comes to the safety of your family, you find yourself doing almost anything.  This became true for my family about a year ago.  We had a family member that had one of those crazy boyfriends.  He beat the crap out of them a few times and threatened to kill them.  Once we found out they moved in with us for a while.  So, my husband who wanted to keep everyone safe went out and got a gun.  Now, we have one in the house and it’s kept safe for our kid’s sake thus giving a false sense of security.  Yes, we have one and could use it if we needed.  It is kept unloaded and not put together.  I know where it is and how to load it and get it ready.  The problem comes when for whatever reason we need to get to it.  Unlike T.V. things happen fast usually too fast to think.  So, when the person is in the house and my kids are in different areas of the house you are faced with a decision.  Do you run around and get the kids?  Do you run to the gun first?  Then go after the kids?  What do you do?  If I get the kids first which is my instinct, will I have time to get to the gun or will it become a hand on combat with the intruder?  This is something I pray I never have to find out.  I don’t live in a bad neighborhood but it’s not great either.  We have our normal every few months there is someone who goes down the street messing up every car parked on the street and checking the rest of the cars in the driveways for unlocked doors.  There is also a new set of neighbors that moved in about a week ago and their car alarms keep going off.  The thing about it is, you don’t know whose it is when it happens until you actually look.  My truck was broken into over mother’s day weekend because I forgot to lock the doors.  So, when the alarm started going off I was so mad I wanted to go get the gun load it and go out there.  I was pissed the alarm went off for so long that the sound of the alarm stopped but the lights were still going.  I had my shoes and jacket on when I was trying to think do I walk over with the gun or without and knock on their door?  When they finally came out and turned it off.  Then tonight their other car alarm went off and my husband laughed at me because I just got up and went out the front door.  I was so pissed thinking it was my car.  He wanted to know what I was planning on doing.  The thing is that tonight I didn’t even think about grabbing the gun but just catching someone in the act and yelling at them.  What would that do?  It’s so funny when you think about it.   Here I am this little girl that has never been in a fight ready to go and take on some jerk trying to break in my car.  I did the same thing the other day.  I was sitting on the couch with the baby and I saw someone walking right across the front of the house.  Then I saw the reflection of them around my car.  The dog was outside going crazy.  I thought about grabbing the gun and going out there but knew they would be gone.  Then instead like a crazy person I flung open my front door and yelled “Can I help you!”  I was so nasty when I said it and I still had the baby on my hip.  The person turned around and told me they just put something in the mail box.  I felt so bad when I pulled the flyer out.  It was for the neighborhood watch.  Well, at least they know I am watching I thought.  But what was I thinking I had the baby on my hip?  It was like this time in Germany.  We lived in stairwell housing and to a normal person you had to pay attention to the buildings or you would pass up yours.  So to a drunken person walking home it was hard to know if you were in the right one.  On one night my now oldest was wide awake at 2 in the morning and in his walker, just happy as could be.  We were around a corner in the house and the front door opened and closed.  I grabbed him up and yell someone was in the house.  My husband poor man got up out of bed so fast screaming but naked “Get the F… out of my house!”  It’s funny now when we think about it.  At the time it was scary!  The person stood outside and knocked on the door.  He wanted to apologize for walking in the house explaining he had mixed up the buildings.  It was crazy the person ended up being someone we actually knew.  The thing is though; if it had been someone else the baby probably would have been safer in the walker.  Instead my instincts kicked in and I just wanted to hold him in my arms.  Which leads me to wonder what goes through some peoples head?  We were talking to some friends who responded to a call where this woman had thought someone broke in her house and had her baby in her arms outside refusing to go back in until a cop went in.  Okay no biggie right?  No, the cop asked her was there anyone else in the house other then the possible intruder?  Well she said “Kind of, my 5 year old is still inside sleeping.”  What?  I would have woken up a neighbor and left the baby there while I went in and found my oldest.  There is no way I would have left him in the house, even if I had to take the baby with me and carry them both out.  Where, then you think well, I am already in.  Did someone really come in?  Did the door just pop open from not being closed properly?  Do I go in my room and try to get the gun and make my way out?  With so many what ifs do you have time to think about it all?  So, yes a gun does provide home protection for the family.  Getting to it when the time calls isn’t always a priority to me as a mom and that’s why it gives me that false sense of security.