Squeaky’s Blog

The morning has been crazy. Giggles is tired and cranky! The screams and tantrums are out of control like he is. It seems every little thing has set him off. Then one of them asked for grapes. Now they both are quiet! They sat on the couch eating their Blueberry Grapes (blue/purple grapes) and Green Grapes like they were the greatest thing ever. It always amazes me how something so little can have such a great impact on them. The day was supposed to be eat breakfast and then head out to the water park. However, I think Giggles will be headed to bed for an early nap here in a few. I am hoping that cures his ridiculous attitude for the day and we can move on to our plans. In the mean time I am grateful to WC for his suggestion of buying grapes at the store.

I am joining the rest of the mini van and soccer mom’s.  WC starts soccer in 2 weeks and I can’t wait.  We have already gotten his cleats, shin guards and a ball for him.  He practices every chance he gets now since its still cold out.  We have him wear his cleats so he can break them in and get used to them.  I can’t wait for his first practice and game.

DP had to go out of town this weekned and WC wanted to do something fun since he couldn’t go.  I thought it would be nice to take WC and Giggles to Chuck E Cheese.  It always sounds like a good idea when we plan it.  Then we get there and it’s another story.  The place was packed and the only tables that were empty were reserved.  I understand that you can have parties there but wow!  I mean the idea was to get pizza and then let the boys play.  It took over 30 minutes to find a table and then it was too small so we atleast got a break for a while until a bigger one was available.  I guess it could have been worse.  But hey we got a table eventually and the kids ate and all should have been happy.  However you know life is rarely smooth.  The kids did have fun I have to say.  Giggles had some moments of fustration.  He was so tired and wanted to run around and play but it was just me and a friend who brought her daughter.  We had to take turns checking on the kids and sitting at the table with the food.  I mean who wants to trust people to not steal your things or spike your drinks?  I guess the better thing would have been to feed the boys first and then go.  I think the next time we will do that and take in a small backpack for the diapers and wipes.  That would make more sense then I can run around after the kids and let them play with less stress and hassel.  It was crazy and my friend that came was nice to have but we really didn’t get to talk because we were worried about the kids and too busy constantly chasing after them.  I think it’s a reminder of why I don’t really take the boys to the park but have people here and spend so much time in our yard.  It’s hard to talk and hang out with friends when you are constantly worried about your kids.  I have to say the Play Place (indoor kids playground) is a lot better since it’s smaller and more confined too.  It is more of a way to let run off energy then spend money on games.  They do have a small game section but it’s more of a playground than anything else.  I also think the stress level is so much smaller.  The down side is according to my mother we all get sick after going.  I know the last we did but we were just starting to get sick and didn’t know it.  It was one of the colds that we just passed back and forth for 2 months.  We would all take turns for a week being sick then better for a week or two and start over again.  So, the last time it wasn’t because of going but I am not ready to put it to the test.  Oh well, maybe I will learn from my mistakes and the next trip to The Devil’s Playground will go smooth after all once again we have coins left to use another day.

 The last time I took WC shopping for clothes he told me that everything I picked out was lame.  I mean everything.  I had to let him pick out the clothes and it was more trouble than it was worth.  So, today I found him a few things and on my way to pick him up I remembered the last trip.  I had to find a way to keep him from telling me the clothes were lame.   I was not taking them back and he was going to be okay with it.  Well I remembered our neighbors son.  He is a senior in high school and he and his friend actually play with WC.  WC thinks they are the coolest thing around and this was my way to not being lame.  I came up with this story of how this guy just like them was in the store and I asked him what was cool and what was lame.  I told him how he said the ones I bought were cool but the others lame and so I didn’t get him those.  I couldn’t make him wear lame clothes!  So, I told WC that I hoped he liked them and they really were cool cause the guy said they were.  WC was so excited.  I was worried still but when we got home he loved all of the clothes so what ever works right?  I feel bad still for the tall tale I told.  I guess I will have plenty more years of being told I am lame so I should I have to use all the help I can.  It’s still amazing the things I will do for my kids.

It all started on Thursday when I went to pick WC up from pre K.  It was so nice out Giggles and I had the windows down in the car.  We were almost at WC’s school when Giggles started shouting ball, and pointing out the window.  He had thrown his bouncy ball out the window.  This was one of the few balls he knew was his and only his.  It was the cutest one I had seen in a long time.  It was white with the shiny colored confetti mixed in.  On our way back home we stopped a few times and I walked down the street looking for it and I think we drove like 5 miles an hour some of the way.  Well I gave up and we went home.  I went to get him out of his seat and he looked at me and said ball like I was supposed to have it and hand it over to him.  My heart broke for him over this silly little ball.  I thought to myself wow the things I will do to make my kids happy.  So I guess we will make a trip to the fun factory and hopefully get enough tickets to get him another one.  Then came Sunday morning and Giggles brought me one of his toys.  It was the blow up push toy that rolls back to the baby and helps them to learn to crawl.  Well he found it in his room and brought it to me and so I blew it up for him.  The whole time I was blowing it up he was smacking it and saying “ball”.  Finally, it was done and I gave him the toy and what do you know he screamed at me and shoved it back in my arms.  What?  Thinking he was unsure I rolled it on the ground and that made him scream even more.  Poor Giggles went and got it, brought it back, pointed inside the toy and said “ball”.   I finally figured it out he wanted the little balls inside the toy.  I tried to explain they wouldn’t come out but he didn’t want to hear it.  Frustrated I told him to take it to Papa and off he went whimpering “ball”.  DP apparently didn’t do anything for him because two minutes later he came back whining “ball”.  Once again, I tried to tell him they don’t come out.  Pissed off he grabbed the toy and ran into WC’s room.  A few minutes later he came back out with the toy and WC’s play chisel.  Then gave me the toy to hold as he tried to stab the seam and I couldn’t help but laugh.   Again, I tried to explain to him that that balls didn’t come out and it ended with him storming off into his room screaming and crying and shutting his door behind him.  He had to sit in his room crying for a good few minutes when I went to check on him.  The poor boy was sitting in the dark in front of his closet with another toy.  It was one where you drop the balls in and they come out on the side with extra places to drop from and come out of, and it played some music when the balls hit the bottom.  So here is Giggles crying in his room whimpering ball and holding his toy trying to shove some dog toy ball about the size of a tennis ball down the slot that a ping pong ball would fit in.  I felt bad and for him so we went to find the balls that went to the toy.  We could only find one but he was happy for a while.  Then just before dinner time he started all over again and I happened to be on the phone with my mom.  Who asked what his problem was and after I told her the story and both the toys actually came from her.  She felt so bad listening to him whimper ball that she said it was torturing him and to just pop the thing and give him the balls.  Okay I figured she bought and was the one saying pop it so what the hell.  I got a steak knife, sliced a big whole and gave Giggles the balls.  That child was so happy.  He ran into the other room with all three balls to show DP.  Then he ran to his room and sat down with his toy and dropped his balls in with the biggest smile on his face.  He sat and played with that toy and then when he came out into the living room he brought the toy and the balls.  He wasn’t about to let them out of his sight after all he went through to get them.  Even this morning when he got up he ran straight for the balls with a big smile on his face.

 WC turned 5 this month.  I keep remembering all the little things we did over the years.  He has grown so much over the last 2.  I keep thinking that we just moved from Germany to Oklahoma.  When he turned 2 we spent the day together eating breakfast at Denny’s and then the local park that he loved.  I remember how small he was and people just loved him. I remember how on the way out of Denny’s I gave him a dollar bill and he put it in the broken game machine.  I felt bad for him because he was upset he didn’t get to play but at the same time I was happy since I had almost given him a larger bill.  I keep thinking of all those moments and wondering where all the time went.  I keep telling myself I need to write it all down because I am afraid one day I will forget or won’t be here to tell him the stories.  I want to continue to have those special moments and watch him grow.  Then I wish he would stay small forever.  I know that won’t happen.  He has started school (Pre K) and now I have to buy his clothes in the boy section.  I knew I would one day but I just wasn’t ready for it.  I guess I may never really be ready for all the milestones as they come.  But hey it’s like the saying goes one step/day at a time.

I had to take Giggles to the ER the other night.  We had a long day of running errands and when we got home I decided to clean out the car.  The kids were playing in the drive way and being good.  Then Giggles climbed in the car and over to the driver seat.  WC then decided that he was going to get in the driver seat with him.  That was about the point I got mad and told them both to get out of the car and WC went out the door and shut it behind him.  Well, its monkey see monkey do with Giggles.  So, Giggles pulled on the door handle and pushed a little and then started to fall so he let go and the door closed.  I got a few extra grey hairs at that point but the door was closed and figured he was just going to walk to the back and get out like he got in.  Oh no he was going to be a big boy like WC and go out the door.  This time though he knew he was going to have to push on it so he grabbed the handle and pushed it open and went head first out the door.  I freaked watching it all happen and not being able to grab his feet and ran around to the car to get him.  He was screaming, his head was all bruised already and he had road rash just above his eye.  I grabbed the keys because I hadn’t even unlocked the door yet.  I tried to call DP at work but Giggles was screaming so I just asked to send DP home and hung up.  I then called DP’s cell and told WC to tell Papa that Giggles was hurt and to come home while I grabbed an ice pack and headed to the EMT neighbors house.  Trying to calm down Giggles had finally stopped crying and I called DP back to tell him we were headed to the ER.  Which one, I had no idea since I didn’t even know where the damn hospital was it was just going to be the closest one to the house that came up in the GPS.  DP met us at the ER and I was telling them again for the umpteenth time that NO the car was not moving when he fell out of it.  The keys weren’t even in the ignition.  Then we got the biggest shock of Bull Shit ever.  Tri Care wasn’t going to cover the visit to the ER that we were going to have to make a claim through our car insurance company.  If they then denied the claim tri care at that point would pick up the bill.  What are you kidding me?  If we had been stationed with a military base I would have gone to the base ER and would never had an issue with the insurance.   But no we are remote (Army term for no base at the duty station) so we don‘t have the luxury of going to a military base.  I am sick of military families complaining about the base hospital and yes I was one of them.  But let me tell you know that I don’t have one now and I miss it and see how great it really is to have.  We had great doctors and I have great doctors now but they are an hour from the house.  I choose to go to them because of how much I like them.  I have to pay for my prescriptions now and over the counter meds that I used to just get from the base pharmacy I have to buy in a local store.  It’s a lot of little things that we take for granted and my eyes have been opened to a whole new world.  My kids are always playing and doing crazy things and people keep telling me that they are going to end up in the ER.  Well you know they just might but we have tri care so we are covered I tell them.  It’s true I think I let them be a little rougher and tougher than they should be because I know that if anything happens they are covered.  I guess I might start rethinking that after this cause god only knows the next time it’s going to be oh no tri care won’t cover this because you were in the house you are going to have to call your home owners insurance policy.  Ha probably not but why chance it right?     

We all dream.  We have good dreams, bad dreams, strange dreams and dreams we don’t remember.  It’s the things we do in our life and the things that we go through that affect us and give us some of our dreams.  It’s said a women will dream about babies if she is pregnant even before she knows she it.  Some say that if you dream about death it means life and vice versa.  We have dreams we want to forget and then ones that we want to share.  I have shared a many dreams along the way and I encourage WC to share his dreams with me.  WC tells me about his dreams daily.  Usually, every morning we start with the good mornings and how did you sleep and from there we go into if he had any dreams.  He then normally tells me that he had a nightmare and describes it in great detail.  I listen to him and ask him if it was a good dream or a bad dream.  Then I try to explain what a nightmare really is.  This is a conversation we have on a daily basis almost and it’s normally first thing.  So, when we were riding home in the car the other day he started talking about his dreams again I was surprised.  I think because we have to take the interstate to get home which he calls a bridge.  Since, we have to drive under the overpass to get on it.  He hates the being under the overpass and the bridge as he calls it.  He always asks for something to cover up with so he can hide and take a nap.  Well this day he removed the cover and started talking about how he woke up and had a dream.  WC proceeds to tell me about how when he dreams, he dreams of boobs.  He dreams of all girls with big boobs and going to the beach to see them.  He says he doesn’t dream about seeing my boobs though because that’s icky since I am the mommy.  WC says it doesn’t matter who the girls are just as long as they have big boobs.  He likes boobs and they make him happy.  He wants me to take him to the beach so he can see all the girls with big boobs because we are in Florida now.  He says Florida has lots of beaches with girls with big boobs.  That’s what he wants to do and that’s what he dreams about.  He wants to know when the summer is going to get here because I keep telling he has to wait for the summer.  So, now I want to know if it’s that simple.  Do we just really dream about what makes us happy?  Or is this just some phase he is going through because I am still breast feeding and that’s what started his fascination with boobs.  Will this go away in time?  Will he continue to love girls with big boobs?  Is this a sign of him being a family man when he gets older like the saying?  Will he always dream of boobs or will he grow out of it and dream of something more appropriate for his age?  What is appropriate for him to dream about though?  Am I wrong for thinking he should be dreaming of something else?  Have I turned him into a boob fanatic?  Or should I just encourage him to dream about what ever makes him happy and if that’s boobies then by all means go for it?  He does at times point out to girls and friends that they have big ones though.  I guess at this point I am just grateful that he doesn’t run up and grab girl’s boobs.   

Giggles first birthday is coming up and we have been trying to figure out what we are going to do for it.  WC has finally accepted that it’s okay for Giggles to have a party after much deliberation and has even planned it.  WC has decided that Giggles should have an Elmo cake and we should have a party at a park with hot dogs and balloons.  I think this might be a small one with just us since we still don’t know anyone but DP’s co workers.  We will see I am going to look around for a cake today and hopefully will find one.  I mean Elmo shouldn’t be hard to order right, he has been around forever.  We will see how it works out when it come times for presents though.  I think I may get WC something small so that he won’t feel left out.  I have faith that he will be okay though since we have been talking about it for a while now.  I think we will be continuing our talks over the next week to prepare him. 

DP and WC went on their first bike ride over the weekend.  WC was so excited and can’t wait until they can go again.  I am so proud because he rode his big boy bike and not the tricycle that he normally wants to take.  I think the tricycle is a comfort thing for him.  But they made a plan and fixed the tires and training wheels before going.  It was almost a whole day for them together with one on one time but still at home close to mom.  WC still seems to need to know that I am close.  He used to go on what we called dates with his grandmother on Fridays so he could get some much needed attention spent on just him.  Even then though he could only manage to go for a few hours before needing to get home to mom.  He was worried about being late, getting lost or it getting dark.  So, this was a good start.  I am hoping that they continue the weekend bike rides.  Then I can get that trailer I want for Giggles and we can all go together and the kids and I can go during the week.